Bad days and good days

Yesterday was a bad day. My head was pounding to the point it felt like it was going to split open. My chest hurt, my fingers were tingly and burning, and it felt like my left leg wasn’t going to hold me up.

I managed to get through the day, though. We went home and I promptly fell asleep. I woke up long enough to take my drugs and fell asleep again, though not comfortably.

First I woke up with sleep paralysis and hypnagogic hallucinations (this is something that has happened to me every few months or so, for many years now). I couldn’t move for what seemed like a very long time (I’m sure it was just seconds in reality), then I thought I was sitting up in bed screaming while Liz just looked at me blankly. Then I finally did manage to snap out of it entirely and I think I actually did start screaming. Liz woke up and rolled over and snuggled me, which made me feel better. I don’t know what I’d do without her.

The problem is, once I start having sleep paralysis, the only way I can stop from slipping into it again is to wake myself up entirely, then go back to sleep. So I forced myself awake for a while. I’m not sure how long it took, but it was a while before I fell asleep again.

Some time after that, I awoke with Nibbler settling down on me. On my face. I was on my right side and he stretched out across my jaw, cheek and mouth. The funny thing was he’s so small and light that it didn’t bother me, so I left him there. He hopped down eventually.
I slept fitfully until my alarm started going off. I still felt bad until sometime after I got to work.

At the moment I’m actually feeling a tiny bit better. I still feel extremely fatigued and tired, and my left side is still weak and tingly and slightly numb, but my head doesn’t hurt. It still feels fuzzy. In fact, the best way I can describe how my head feels right now is that I feel almost like I’m buzzed. I’m not sure where that could be coming from. The only drug I’ve had today is a steroid.

A couple of days ago I got a call from the neurologist. They can get me in … in eight weeks. I don’t think I can wait that long. I took the appointment then immediately called my family doctor’s referral line and told them what was up. Yesterday morning they called me back and they’ve got me an appointment with a different neurologist, in less than three weeks. I wish it were sooner, but that’s much better than eight.

The good news is that when I came in this morning I had an email from HR saying I was officially accepted for the job (the same job I’ve been doing as a temp for almost six months) and will become a permanent employee effective May 27. I’m happy about that.